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Jokes About Guitar Players

March 4th, 2008 · Posted by Jeff · 8 Comments

What are the two most frequent guitarist lies?
1. I am not too loud
2. I already turned it down
—————————-
Q: What’s the difference between a fiddle and a violin?
A: Who cares – neither one’s a guitar.
—————————
Q: How do you get a guitar player to turn down?
A: Put sheet music in front of him.
————————-
 
 
“Mommy! Mommy! I want to be a guitarist when I grow up!”
“Now Johnny, you know you can’t do both.”
———————
Q: How many guitar players do you need to replace a  light bulb?
A: Five. One to actually do it, and four to argue about how much

better they could do it.

——————–
Q: What’s the difference between a guitar player and a bag of garbage?
A: The garbage gets taken out at least once a week.
———————
Q: What’s the difference between a lead guitarist and a terrorist?
A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.

Thanks for the funny stuff Outliermusic.com!

You guys got anymore to throw in? Leave them as comments!

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8 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Bud // Mar 4, 2008 at 8:16 pm

    Q: How do you get most guitar players to stop playing?

    A: place a piece of sheet music in front of them ;)

    LEARN MUSIC MUSICIANS

  • 2 Bill Leverty // Mar 5, 2008 at 4:43 am

    Q: What does a guitar player use for birth control?

    A: His personality!

  • 3 Kenski (Fillmore Five Project) // Mar 5, 2008 at 4:50 am

    Slightly off topic…

    What do you call an a**ehole who’s always hanging around with musicians?

    A drummer.

  • 4 Matt // Mar 5, 2008 at 7:25 am

    A beautiful woman was walking through the forest one day when she came upon a frog. She picked up the frog and it said to her, “If you kiss me I will turn into a sensitive male singer/songwriter.” The woman proceeded to put the frog in her pocket and continue walking. The frog said, “Hey, aren’t you going to kiss me?” “No,” says the woman, “You’re worth more money as a talking frog . . . “

  • 5 Matt // Mar 5, 2008 at 7:25 am

    How do you make $1 million as a singer/songwriter?

    Start with $2 million

  • 6 Matt // Mar 5, 2008 at 7:29 am

    http://img2.moonbuggy.org/imgstore/son-someday-you-will-make-a-girl-very-happy-for-a-short-period-of-time.jpg

  • 7 Jokes About Guitar Players-music // Mar 5, 2008 at 7:25 pm

    [...] twobikeminimum wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerptQ: How do you get a guitar player to turn down? A: Put sheet music in front of him. ————————-. “Mommy! Mommy! I want to be a guitarist when I grow up!” “Now Johnny, you know you can’t do both.” ———————. Q: How many guitar players do … [...]

  • 8 Ovidiu - GuitarFlame.com // Mar 6, 2008 at 12:21 am

    Funny jokes, I knew some but not all.

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