Step 1: Do not, I repeat do NOT tell any of your friends and fellow band members that you are leaving the band. This can only cause problems, and any confrontation must be avoided. This all must be done with as little actually conversation or contact as possible. You duty is to leave this band in a way where no one actually knows if you have or have not until the next month’s gigs are booked. Moving on…..
Step 2: Remove yourself and your role in the band from your band’s facebook fan page covertly, which will go unnoticed for days by other band members. ***Double risk taking points if you decide to remove all the videos of your band performing that they’ve uploaded over the months and months of jamming and performing.
Step 3: Remove your fellow bandmates from your Facebook friend list so that they cannot leave “Hey Man, WTF?!?!” comments on your wall.
Step 4: Totally ignore any forms of communication, especially face to face, phone to phone, and even text to text.
Step 5: Wait a few days and the band you just left will be quite confused as to what happened or why you left, but who cares! At least you avoided any kind of mature uncomfortable discussion as to what everyone wants to do with their visions of music! Don’t worry about keeping any close friendships intact with polite discourse. Who knows what can happen in the future in the music business anyways right? It is always best to burn any bridges you might come across if you want true success in music.
Warning!!
If this sounds like something you or someone you know has done when leaving a band. Slap them (or yourself) across the head a few times and call them (or Yourself) a moron. But please be mature and communicate. If you don’t then not only are the band guys gonna think you are immature, they probably will always have some deep seeded dislike towards you for being such a wussy, shady, underhanded human being. And that can’t be good for networking.
If you do find yourself wishing to go in different directions with music, or you really just can’t committ to play for a while with a band that you are in due to some personal reasons, it is always best to talk to each other and communicate what you are feeling and thinking. After all, people are more understandable than you think they will be, and most professionals understand the volatile nature of music, and take it as such; a professional decision. Not a personal one.
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3 responses so far ↓
1 Jean-Baptiste Collinet // Aug 30, 2009 at 5:28 am
You’re reading into my mind!
I was in a band that never rehearsed nor even played live together(and you know how important performing is),in the end!We just shared tabpro and guitarpro files to work on ideas…
I asked about WHEN we will all play together,but the drummer didn’t give a f*** about it,and the guitarists were rude to me and already played together virtuoso duets or were hired as sidemen.
No one told me about it.So…I was like”what the heck am I doing in that”?
I felt like I wasted time.Grrr.
2 Guitar Teachers // Aug 31, 2009 at 8:07 am
Really unique post, haven’t seen anything covering this touchy subject before. I haven’t really been in a position like this luckily, my last band breakup was a mutual thing for the most part. Good advice nonetheless.
3 Emon // Sep 3, 2009 at 5:32 pm
Having experienced Houdini band mates in the past, I’ll add that the first time it happens to your band, slap the Houdini. However, if it happens twice, and on, slap no one else but yourself.
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