For a while I had been just giving guitar lessons, playing some gigs, and working part time advising a mid sized marketing/firm here in Dallas.  It was a lot of fun and even though I wasn’t making much money, my expenses were low, and I was really enjoying everything.

Unfortunately, things did not work out the way I had hoped for some of the bands I was playing with.   My main songwriting partner and close friend’s motivation towards music and creating waned as his relationship with his girlfriend took wild turns and it was clear that we would not be taking over the music industry with hit song after hit song like I had envisioned.

I’ll have to admit, my motivation and inspiration was in question as well.  Was I really doing the right thing with my life?  Why is it so hard to do what you want to do in life?   How come it is so rare that people in a band share the same vision, or at least are willing to work out difficulties and perform the role that makes the band and the music as good as it can  be?

With my bands on hiatus, and school and other things starting (which caused a big drop in guitar lessons) I was accumulating debt and just scraping by.  I had always felt my strength as a musician and guitar player was in the original band format.  Creating, improvising, and experimenting were always what I loved to do most, especially with the help of other talented musicians.  My best playing has always been when a good bass player and drummer are playing with me.

But now I didn’t have that outlet.  I felt lost and wasn’t sure what to do; about music, money, or just my personal situation.  I wasn’t able to make the music I had in my head because it relied on others.  My money situation was getting worse, and because of these factors, I felt lost and my self-esteem and confidence were declining as well.

It is very easy to take these confusing times where everything seems lost, where your life seems to not make sense anymore, or where things you wish to happen backfire or turn out as disasters, and just dive deeper and deeper into despair.

But when these things happen, it is actually a blessing to you.  You just need to realize it.  These are times where you think about your thinking and look at your habits and behaviors from outside yourself.

Are you being effective?  Are you moving towards growth, or away?  Are you complacent?  Are you being challenged in any way?

During these times, I believe it is important to question everything you are doing and really examine yourself.  One of the principles of Zen and Buddhism, is to learn from experience.  To challenge what others have said about the way things should be, and to decide for yourself.  I was guilty of just hearing this principle, but not really fully embracing it.

The wisdom of others is priceless, but without actual experience and action, it is useless.   Many times people, and myself especially, live in their head and assume and analyze without really just letting themselves go and trying and experiencing.    You may get that “dream” gig only to find out that you can’t stand the bass player, or that your goals are so off from what the singer’s is.

But you will never know unless you jump in.  Unless you forget about looking stupid.  Or forget about what others will think or have said before.  Their likes and tastes are worlds apart from yours.

I have a belief that as long as you are moving towards a goal, regardless of it is music related or not, that it will help you become a better person, which in turn makes your music richer and more vivid.

Here a few principles and timeless traits that I firmly believe will help you out regardless of whether you have dreams to become a professional guitarist, or just writing original music and expressing your inner genius.  Doing things that increase or better yourself in these areas will result in personal growth and unlimited potential.  Make yourself form new effective habits and challenge yourself always.  When in doubt, move towards these:

Discipline- “Self-discipline refers to the training that one gives one’s self to accomplish a certain task or to adopt a particular pattern of behaviour, even though one would really rather be doing something else. For example, denying oneself of an extravagant pleasure in order to accomplish a more demanding charitable deed. Thus, self-discipline is the assertion of willpower over more base desires, and is usually understood to be a synonym of ‘self control‘. Self-discipline is to some extent a substitute for motivation, when one uses reason to determine a best course of action that opposes one’s desires. Virtuous behaviour is when one’s motivations are aligned with one’s reasoned aims: to do what you know is best and to do it genuinely gladly. Continent behaviour, on the other hand, is when one does what one knows is best, but must do it by opposing one’s motivations.^[3] Moving from continent to virtuous behaviour requires training and some self discipline.”  (Wikipedia)

Love-By connecting with people and places you grow your positivity.  People aren’t meant to be in isolation.  Move towards what inspires and excites your passions.  Not what drains you.  Avoid negative people and places.  Surround yourselves  with positive influences.

Power- Your ability to consciously and deliberately create the world around you.  This doesn’t mean power over others or power from a greedy viewpoint.  It means move towards power over yourself.  Build your confidence and skillset.

Talent-Don’t be ashamed of your talents and uniqueness!  When you move towards cultivating old and new talents, you grow as a person and your power increases.

Health- Anything you can do to better your health is moving in the right direction.  Without your health, you have nothing.  Get plenty of sleep, exercise, and eat in moderation.  Your creativity and musicality will reap the benefits.

Truth-We grow as human beings by discovering new truths about ourselves and our reality.   You can accelerate your growth tremendously by consciously seeking truth and deliberately turning away from falsehood and denial.

There are no limits.

So what did I do to improve my situation?

First, I needed to get my finances in order.  I am not really the type where I am motivated by money moreso than learning and meaning, but it is important to understand that our monetary system is just something in which we must live with, unless we want to all become monks in the mountains.  I got a job working in the Trade Show and Event Organization Industry, at a company that helps put on aforementioned things including the NAMM shows.  Even though I would of course rather be playing guitar all day everyday, at this point in time, it just wasnt a possibility.  Of course that can change in the future, and it is important to realize that quitting your job if you have one or losing it is not the end of the world, but an opportunity for personal growth.

Even though this job will take up more of my time, I am still giving lessons to the students who are most enthusiastic about learning.  Another benefit is that the industry is something of great interest to me.  When starting GPZ,  I had thoughts of putting on concerts and events, and through this new work, I will learn the ins and outs about doing so, which leads me closer to realizing that goal.  It also exposes me to a new group of people, which can be new fans of my music, and can lead to new opportunities for shows, songs, and business ideas.  Having less time to work on music also can be a benefit because it will really make you evaluate what it is you want/need to focus your time on.

Ever heard of the 80/20 rule?  Use this to keep getting better at guitar in less time by being more focused and disciplined.  Heck you can even practice guitar in your sleep.

Most importantly, this job will help sharpen my discipline and take it to new levels.  Penelope Trunk writes that self-discipline is the key to happiness, and slowly and surely, I agree with her more and more each day.  She says that

Self-discipline is about small things paving the way for very big things.

And that Self-discipline is mental, but only because it’s about believing in yourself.

The moment of regaining self-discipline feels triumphant.

I’d encourage you all to experiment with this for yourselves.

Heck, it’s been a while since I have written such an in depth and personal article.  And on my second day of my new job, I feel more motivated to write the types of pieces that built the foundation of Guitar Player Zen than ever.  Maybe I can’t write as much as I would like, but then again, maybe I just will feel more compelled to and write more than I ever have.  We just will have to see.

Well, their are other small ways I have been reclaiming my self-discipline and focus, but who cares about that.  I want to hear what you guys are doing and how your lives are changing lately in the comments.

How are you getting un-stuck and out of your funks?

If you don’t know where to go, just move forward.

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